With the impending Back To Work Day inching closer and closer, we had no choice by to find a nanny for our little man.

Guys, let me just put it as simply as possible. It. Was. HARD.

How the heck are you meant to know who is right? How to you entrust your child to someone else? Heck, leaving him alone with his dad for one night is tough enough and he’s GOT this.

The search was tough, but then, the fates aligned and we found her. Our Nanny. And she is amazing.

So with The Day just a week and half away we embarked on our nanny’s first day so that we could spend some time getting to know each other before she was solo with the little monster.

She arrived exactly on time and they seem to have clicked automatically. Confidently, she whisked him away for playtime, tummy time, etc. I heard giggles. Chuckles. Laughter. And I felt… spare.

Wanting to give them space to get to know each other despite feeling like a tiny part of myself had gone wandering in a forest, I retired to the study feigning a heavy workload. I made one tiny trip to the store, and a few trips out of the study to ‘get tea’ / see what they were doing. What am I meant to do right now? Yes, there is some laundry to fold. Yes, I have some admin to do. But it all seems a little unimportant right now.

They played. He napped. She tidied (I don’t think the house has ever been so tidy). I’m still ‘working’. I might go for a run.

Not because I particularly want to but I want to pull off the bandaid slowly and need to try to work some of these emotions out on the road. Yup. I am having MASSIVE feelings. Because he is totally fine with someone else. Someone I picked out of a sea of nannies.

What is this strange feeling, parents??? I don’t know if I like it.

So if you see someone half jogging, half heaving for air on the roads of Jozi this afternoon, red faced and probably sobbing, that’s just me trying to be ok with not being with our small fry 24/7.

I might also just go ‘make more tea’.

#FEELINGS.

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